Let’s talk relationship ~ Kikis de la Creme, March 4th, 2014.
Let’s talk relationship!
The other day I attended a client, who was passing a very bad moment in his marriage. His relationship with his wife had come to a level that was extremely unsupportable.
So, after giving him some Bach Flowers, providing a suitable ambience with some incense, and helping out with a little Reiki session…finally my client is in better conditions & ready to talk and listen to what I could probably give him as an advice.
Together we did some brainstorming about what is a relationship between to people. Many ideas came up and now sharing this consultation with you and
thinking about the title for this article I had trouble to decide… as my options were “Relationship Salsa” or Relationship Tango… I think Tango would be the perfect expression to use, as a relationship is very much like a dance. Sometimes it can be a harmonious dance, inspiring, sometimes with trouble, furious, slow, quick, interesting… romantic…. There are plenty of options.
Nevertheless, I decided on quitting these dance categories, because a relationship cannot be in a category or having a label, as it is a constantly developing process.
I explained to my client, that we have to develop, to move, to communicate, of course we will have quarrels, discussions and misunderstandings but finally this is like a dance.
Yes, relationship is like dancing with your partner.
This means with your girlfriend, boyfriend or your fiancé and finally with your husband or wife. So, this gentleman was so focused on getting his papers done, the divorce and he wanted to cut off money support, he wasn’t even interested in listening what was going to happen to his children… but suddenly he had a totally new point of view….. a new way of approaching this conflict situation.
So, after 30 minutes we were finally having a common base to talk more quietly about the roots of his personal stress.
Well, of course it is not up to me to qualify if this is just a “stupid” reason or if this is something that is not worth to get a divorce,… please understand, that’s not my job.
My job simply is to listen to the client, give him orientation and advice. And my advice for this so angry and disappointed man was very simple,…
You cannot expect, that a relationship you have since 20, 30 or maybe 40 years will always be the same. People develop, the relationship develops, the attitude, way of thinking, experiences, the circumstances and the outer influences, and of course our environment develops. So it’s natural that the whole picture changes.
On the other hand you cannot expect that your partner will keep you sending kisses, love messages and giving gifts to you, when you do not show any interest in this person. Talk about your needs, listen to the other’s persons need. Communication, communication, communication!!!
So, if you ask me for a recipe and that was finally the thing my client did, I told him the key ingredients for a positive relationship are respect, communication, the ability to listen, and ~ as an extra ~ never go to bed without having forgiven the other person.
Keep your relationship alive with small attentions, write notes…for example these yellow post-it pasted on the mirror when you leave the bathroom, all this things make a relationship so special. Trust me on this one, a relationship never stands still a relationship is like dancing salsa, tango, quick-step, foxtrot at different times!
Let’s talk relationship! ~ Kikis de la Creme